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12th
MAR

Doom

Posted by GardenHead under Action

DoomSo how in the cornbread hell do you take the most visceral all consurming experience that 1994, (Yes I know that Doom came out in 1993, but I didn’t play it until ’94, I lived in Oklahoma at the time, cut me some slack Jack) had to offer, and turn that into a movie?

The short answer is, you frackin’ don’t. I mean video game movies for the most part have been bad as bad can be; a veritable cornucopia of crap that is insulting to gamers and movie fans alike. Thanks to all the neat new hardware available, video games are taking over Hollywood, because of interactive cinematic gameplay. But I digress…

Doom is watchable. I mean watching the movie is not as fun as popping my cousins ritalin like tic tacs and cutting class and playing DOOM on my roomates’ computer for 2 days straight, but it’s not a bad movie to watch. Apparently there is a story behind Doom, I never knew existed, my DOOM experience consisted of destroying everything possible and hitting the frakin’ lever. However the story to the movie, I guess follows the idea of demons and Mars and blah, blah, blah. But what you pay to see is carnage. And although the demon suits and the CG monsters were impressive, there was not nearly enough body count to constitute a true DOOM experience. I would of liked to see the Rock take the BFG to a whole room full of demons and melt the evil buggers to little piles of goo. But they didn’t do this. Why? I have no idea. Stupid. Stupid.

But all told the movie is enjoyable. The Rock as always kicks everyone’s candy asses, and has a good time mugging for the camera. The CG is good, and the final battle shown as a first person shooter works. But having said that if the only thing Hollywood can come up with is to “ape” a gaming experience, then Tom Cruise better stop spending money, cos the gaming studios are only going to continue to lay the perverbial smackdown on Hollywood.

3 out 5 stars

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